rshaw's Blog

I have worked with the same people for 12 years and a year ago I was put into a higher position - I have 2 people that I care about and  call friends.  Now they are telling me that I can't be friends with them anymore they are not even in my department - what's up with that.  That place is seriously starting to give me a headache.  Since I moved I can't even visit them or go out socially so I don't see what the big deal is.  I married someone in another department 4 years ago and now they are making me use my maiden last name.  I think they are being ridiculous. I swear things have not been the same sense last November when we re-organized and lost the third party administrator.  I really wish my store would have made it so I could jump on out of there. 

Every Sunday never fails - I always start to get myself wound up because the weekend is over and I have to go back to work on Monday.  The week starts all over again.  I use to love my one job(pension fund) but I would still get the anxiety.  It's worse now - a bunch of political bs to deal with everyday changes and what not.  I am very sad my store is not making it and I will have to close it down- but I wonder do other people who genuinely love their job get the same type of anxiety?

I don't like making resolutions - but this year - I am definitely going to make some changes - hopefully by the end of 2010 - I will be working elsewhere.

I opened my eyes to the fact that working two jobs (the one where I am commuting approx 4 hours a day and the sewing maching and Vacuum store) just isn't working.  The store although I love it has put me deeper in debt and sucked my lifesavings down the drain.  So when is it time to say enough? I can't get my husband to understand that it is not working.  Sure it would have been great if it did work close to home - spend more time with my kids.

What to do next?  I still want to leave the other job - too much betrayal and conflict and too long of a drive- more cons than pros- the only thing that keeps me there is that it is a job and with today's job market I am not giving it up right yet. So here I sit at the store -hoping just for one good top end sale to get some of my creditors off of my back - and then I will begin the process of phasing it out - which makes me feel really awful.

Well once again I feel like I am in limbo.  The bright side is I have a 3 day work week.  The family will be coming over for Thanksgiving holiday.  All though I will be surrounded by family I will still feel alone.  I realize now that a best friend is a very important thing to have in this life.  I don't mean a spouse although they could be a best friend as well - it's just a different type.  I don't think I have ever had a friend that I completely trusted - I did have one or two who came close - but time has separated us.  I think I will ask Santa for a true Best Friend this year. 

Enjoy your holidays!

Yes, I am old enough to know the difference between my needs and wants.  Doesn't mean that I don't want things I just keep my priorities straight.  There is this thing with Generation X - they just don't get it - it seems to be all about their wants.  Now don't get me wrong - I haven't done any indept study - so before anyone gets their panties in a bunch - it is what I have observed at my job and with my two older children.  I have always put my needs in front of my wants - I needed to provide food, shelter, clothes and medical care for my children.  Of course there were things that I wanted to do that I had to put on a back burner to make sure they had what they needed - maybe they weren't wearing whatever popular brands were at the time - but we all had what we needed and trust me there were times I had to work two jobs - which means I sacrificed spending a lot of quality time with my kids but when I did it truly was quality time - even if it was just hanging out- there were times that work interferred.  Now with all this being said I will get to my point - we have a deadline at work to meet before the holiday next week and the powers to be are limiting request off so we can enjoy the holiday without having to worry.  Well there is this one girl who just got back from being off sick for a whole week - she has been back this week and she scheduled off trying all 3 days and they asked her just to come in on Monday and she could have tuesday and wednesday off - she threw a fit and said her kids would be disappointed and that she was tired of disappointing them.  So they denied her request.  So she scheduled a doctor's appointment for the one day they denied  and said she would bring a doctor's note - so they are making her come in before the appointment (she lives two hours away).  Now granted what bugs me the most is that she isn't even spending the whole time with her kids- yet she is using them as an excuse.  Me on the other hand would have said sure I will come in Monday and took tuesday and wednesday off because I knew we had deadlines to meet.  If she gets fired I can't feel any sympathy - she is putting her wants before her needs -